Friday, November 10, 2006

The Goo Report

Know them, love them, but most impotantly, pepper your speech with Simpsons neologisms.

Hitler was a good cheerleader- didn't you see that exhibit at the Holocaust Museum? F├╝hrerific! By the way, note the name of the newspaper- I bet you didn't realize the Power Puff Girls were such journalists!

Standardized test crushes student's will, kills all puppies in a three mile radius.

Viking ship to ply North Sea; no invasion planned. Why even bother?

"The British fear their once famously polite nation is now more renowned for binge drinking and loutish behavior than for the popular image of rolled umbrella and stiff upper lip." Britain would be such a better nation if they took that sentence and replaced the word "fear" with the word "hope".

In other British news, you no longer have to be funny to be a comedian; you just have to have the right face.

Gamblor strikes again! If you gamble on water, it's not a vice.

Finally, someone has a flanswer to the culinary query of the millenium.

The Sun Times calls this antler stabbing a perefctly cromulent accident... The Goo knows better. ZOMBIE DEER. It's kind of like chronic wasting disease, but a little more emphasis on the undead.

What you didn't know about Canada:"Gettliffe has been held in custody in an institution in B.C.'s Fraser Valley institution since then. That prompted her current common-law husband, Francis Gruzelle, to describe life in Canadian prisons as 'worse than Guantanamo.' "


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