Monday, July 30, 2007

Peckish Perpetrators

I know you're all worried, but I just wanted to reassure you that the person who stole cakes at at knifepoint three times in an hour from the same shop was not me.

"At first, he told police he was a visitor and only spoke "foreign language", but he finally admitted he had just been hungry."

I feel you my friend; I've had to stop carrying around knives so as to avoid a life of crime when my tummy is rumbly.

The weird thing is, people have stopped asking me to make cake ever since I debuted my kitty litter cake at a party.

THE RECIPE

Cake ingredients:
  • 1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
  • 1 box of white cake mix
  • 1 package white sandwich cookies
  • 1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
  • A few drops green food coloring
  • 12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
Serving dishes and Utensils
  • 1 NEW cat-litter box
  • 1 NEW cat-litter box liner
  • 1 NEW pooper scooper
Getting Baked
1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape
the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!(?)



5 Comments:

Anonymous Chris Chan said...

When I was a kid, I used to think that "dirt cake," that is, crumbled Oreos mixed with pudding, sprinkled with gummi worms and packed into a flower pot with silk flowers stuck in it was disgusting, but I after I tried it I liked it.

The weekend I went to Bjorklunden for Prof. Kern's "Religion, Magic, and Witchcraft in Early Modern Europe" seminar sophomore year, the kitchen served "gray soup," which is black beans in a cream base. It looked like dirty paste, but it smelled wonderful, and when I ate it, it was delicious.

I don't care how good it tastes, I'm not eating that kitty litter cake.

I'm surprised that no one grabbed a knife and went out to rob a bakery to get some real cake.

That would be perfect if you're on a diet. You can have all the cake you want, but it has to be kitty litter cake.

I once read of people who were sick and tired of having unwanted guests invite themselves over for dinner, so one night that showed the guests how they cleaned up: they had their dogs lick the plates and just shoved them back into the cupboard. The freeloaders haven't been back since. I don't think that anyone at that party will be dropping by uninvited for dinner at your place anytime soon. They probably expect the salad to be served in a bedpan.

When you made that cake, were you absolutely CERTAIN that Julius was not left alone with it for any length of time?

3:32 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

personally I think it looks absolutely Scrummy...
I would trust the goo with my life...
also i know that she knows that if she did actually feed me cat-lit I might do terrible terrible things to ..... the object ... or even worse... to Julius....

5:22 PM  
Blogger rock_ninja said...

True story:

The Object's mom emailed me last night, asking if I could make dessert for our upcoming trip to the beach. I'm not sure how regularly she reads the Goo...

OK, everyone be quiet now, because I would like a moment undisturbed to think about the Bjorklunden food.

Aghughighihgihghg.

[wipes drool]

Oh and the cookies, for the love of all that is good in the world, the cookies!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Mrs Pinchloaf said...

My husband's co-worker made this cake for his birthday a couple of years ago. I was disappointed that he didn't bring any home for me to enjoy. Party pooper.

We've had a CLEAN kitty litter pan in our closet for about a year now with the intention of making this cake, but have yet to find the right occassion.

I'd thought about making one for the Groom's Cake at our wedding last year, but for some reason found myself without the time to do so in the days preceeding the event. Too bad; I think it would've been a bigger hit than the actual wedding cake.

9:42 AM  
Blogger 3pennyjane said...

Mrs. P graciously omits to mention that there were also at least 20 types of homemade cookies available at her wedding, the better not to make the other readers jellus.

The Slavs occasionally make a sorrel soup that looks exactly like pond algae. Many people are too grossed out to eat it, which, fine! More for me!

11:24 AM  

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