Wednesday, December 29, 2010

You Know You're White when Bing Crosby Croons Your Mantra

Those of you who have been following along know this year has been the year of little earthquakes: I broke my back1, got sued, bombed2, divorced3, robbed, sexually assaulted, mugged, and watched as the last vestiges of my idealism crashed and burned. And that's the abridged version.

I’ve had just about enough of 2010. So I declared the year over on December 17. That’s the anniversary of the whole awful year literally started with a bang when my ersatz sled (boogie board, which may have been the first problem) and hip smashed into a tree, narrowly avoiding my head. Things kind of went downhill from there4.

Ending the year early has been quite nice; it's been a sort of limbo for me just to freeze and snuggle up to my life. If the year was about taking the snowglobe of my life and shaking it up, the early retreat has allowed me to look at the falling pieces and reflect on what I want them to mean. I don’t believe there are accidents in the universe. Schmaltzy as it sounds, I’d rather see the course of events over the past year as an opportunity to look critically at the way I’m living.

My dad used to always sing that Arlen and Mercer song - "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and don't mess with Mr. In-Between." It was obnoxious, because he usually busted it out when I was feeling low. Now that he's gone, it's stayed with me as this weird mantra at exactly those times. So I’m closing out the rest period over the next few days with a series of my top ten (or whatever number I deem appropriate) lists to clean out the detritus, celebrate what I can, and usher in 2011 with a better sense of fuck yeah!

1. Again.
2. Literally, though I’d be lying if I said the not in the figurative sense as well.
3. Well, for all intents and purposes -- there really needs to be a better word for splitting up with your non-married partner.
4. Ha, get it?


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