So Cranky!

I am very, very grumpy today (see previous post). Also, I was at a seminar for the last two days, and thusly away from the internetly tubes for two whole days. It was awful. In any case, I would like to clear up a few things, and in return, perhaps you can clear up a few things for me.

• Daniel A. Cirucci needs some kind of prize for actually reading my mind. The only thing missing from this article is the complaint about so-called "journalists" from so-called "journalistic venues" referring to the 12 days of christmas as the 12 days BEFORE Christmas. GAAAAAAAH! (Eye furiously twitching!) Here's a little poem I wrote about Twelfth Night:

I used to think that my Father's decision
(which was met with much familial derision)
To give out presents on Epiphany
(So that Christmas stayed Jesus-y)
Was meaningful and deep.
But upon further reflection,
He may have just been cheap.

Moving on.

• If Colin Meloy wants some "fan interaction," I can definitely help out with that. But I refuse to enter this contest on the grounds that A. I don't think a Stick-Figure Caliban T-Shirt is really going to win and B. the judges include a "Decemberists Rep"????? If I'm making a t-shirt for the band, I will not settle for anything less than Jenny Conlee judging my work.
  
• Reactionary means conservative, opposed to progress, wanting to return to a previous era. So calling Neil Young a reactionary is just sheer nitwittery. ITunes staffer who wrote the review for Living with War, I am talking to you.
  

Now, can someone please help me understand the following:

• Flags at half staff? Really? I guess Reagan got the whole nine yards, too.
  If you're trying to have a
  
• Why do the boy mannequins at the Burberry store on Connecticut Ave. have shoes, but the girl mannequins have high-heel shaped feet?
  
• legitimate Holocaust deny-ers conference, shouldn't you invite Mel Gibson? I do like it that the guest list is a veritable Who's Who of Crazy Fucking Lunatics. It's like a real-life Legion of Doom!!!!
  
• I'm no fashionista, but what is so special about this necklace that warrants it costing $166 more than an almost-identical bracelet?