Monday, February 05, 2007

I'll Never Leave You Again!

Well hello there, Poofygoers!

Many of you have expressed your outrage concern at the paltriness of postage in the past week, but oh my, the events of the past week were so odd and disjunct that I can only express them in bullet form:

  • I had a shitty performance review at work, mostly based on the fact that I used to sometimes show up to work three or four minutes late. The fact that I have been, on average, 15 minutes early for the past three or four months didn't really seem to play a factor in the reviewing. The bad news is that cost me a raise. The good news is that the Muppet Show came in the mail just in the nick of time. Also, I had some Xanax leftover from the dentist.
  • Then, my boss had a shitty review, and we had a deep and meaningful, and now we're BFF's. Also, today I had to explain to the Executive Director about what, precisely, it means to say that Hitler and the Pope were BFFs. As it turns out, she was just unclear on the acronym, not the concept. But that gave me a BRILLIANT idea: a publication that is reports international news events a la the BBC or International Herald Tribune, edited in the style of Sassy.
  • Then, I had to explain to my physical therapist, who is Jewish, about St. Ann (Ann is my saint's name, which is how this all came up), the mother of Mary, who, despite the fact that she never shows up in the Bible, is a saint, and she gave birth to Mary, and Mary was somehow sooooo pure that she NEVER sinned, not even the original sin that EVERYBODY has, and that despite this fact, she was still way cool. I ran this by the Object, who is non-religious, and he didn't really follow along either. Actually, the Mysterious Ambiguously-Aged Asian Woman Roommate (MAAAWR), who has a degree in such things but is not Catholic didn't really get it, either. What's not to get? It's not illogical, it's mysterious, and if God can work in mysterious ways, then goddammit, so can the Catholic Church.
  • Then, within a half hour of each other, I received an e-mail from one friend saying, "I GOT MY DREAM JOB!!!!!" and an e-mail from another friend saying, "Dunno what you've done today, but as of March 31st, I'm laid off." The bad news is that failing to keep straight who's who in such a situation can lose you some friends real quick. The good news is that any way you look at it, there's drinking to be done!
  • Then, I tried to incorporate the phrase "anti-semanticism" into the general lexicon. Thus far, I have failed. I will keep you all posted.
  • Then, I found out that there is a Wikipedia Article for Wabbit Season. I'm pleased to note that the article does conform to the Wikipedia standards for encyclopedic-style writing:
The "duck season/rabbit season" argument from this short became one of the most notable references of the Looney Tunes franchise, and has been analyzed both by scholars and by Jones himself. According to an essay by Darragh O'Donoghue, Rabbit Fire "stands in close relation to human experience, striving and generally failing to grasp an elusive quarry or goal." Richard Thompson said that in the film, there is "the clearest definition of character roles: Elmer never knows what's going on; Bugs always knows what's going on and is in control of things; Daffy is bright enough to understand how to be in control, but never quite makes it." Jones himself refers to Rabbit Fire as a "corner" picture, among his works that, "as in turning a corner in a strange city, reveal new and enchanting vistas."
  • Then, Molly Ivins died, and every time I tried to write a post about it, I started crying. For serious. I don't think that's what she would have wanted, but if she wanted her wishes honored, she shouldn't have gone and died.
  • Then, I found out Butterstick might stay and NOT go back to the land o' commie pinkos, which is a fine place for cats (who have a tendancy to walk around saying, "Mao! MAO!") but is no place for a baby panda, and I felt a little better.
  • Then, Al Sharpton made a funny joke:
[Senator Biden's] comments indicated that Obama might be the first African American candidate 'clean' enough to win... Many other African American leaders came out to be even more critical of Biden's comments, Al Sharpton expressed the fact that he showers every day.
  • Then, I started going to this yoga class offered through Studio Serenity (two weeks unlimited classes for $20, sah-WEET!) , and every time I come out of it, I feel all happy and a little less hurty in my hip than when I went in. The good news is that last Saturday night was the first night in months that I didn't come home limping and sobbing over the pain (the crack addicts near the metro always offer to carry me home- so nice!). The bad news is that I'm so calm and centered when I come out of the class that the Object refuses to speak to me for a minimum of two hours, since in that time, I'm unflappably un-instigatable. Happily, it doesn't take much to get me back to the irrational shrew we all know and love.
  • Then, the Bears did NOT perform a Superbowl shuffle, and as you all know by now, it cost them the game. Let this be a lesson for next year: tight white pants and dancing win games, not record-setting touchdowns!
  • Then, the highlight of the halftime show was not so much Prince's performance- which was the awesomosity one expects of glow-in-the dark marching bands (way not to take it the extra mile, Gwen Stefani)-but the fact that the lasers and whatnot lit up the pouring rain so that it was purple- yes, literally, purple rain.
  • Then, I heard this joke:
A baby seal walked into a club.

I do believe we're now ready to resume the bloggy goodness.


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