Friday, February 22, 2008

I Just Thought People Liked To Make Jokes About Crying Indians

I'm finding twenty-seven to be a paradoxical age to be; stuck in a limbo between the freshness of youth and the gravitas of age. That would make me weightless and stale. Observe:
  • I buy ridiculously expensive eye cream to fight aging and some shit called free radicals,1. but I’m still paying through my my nose for lotion to get the zits off of it.
  • I’m too old for my thing for Michael Cera to be anything less than skeevy, but Adrian Brody2. is waaay too old for me. This unfortunate set of circumstances has lead to the development of a life-threatening crush on the guy from the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.3.
  • Youngsters don’t get my jokes over email because I refuse to use emoticons, and oldsters don’t get jokes, period.
  • I’m old enough that I feel slimy going onto MySpace, even to listen to up-and-coming bands, but I’m young enough that I feel a grave injustice has taken place whenever I actually have to pay for music.
  • In two separate incidents on the same day (and without an ounce of irony) I chastised a Gen Xer for being too jaded and cynical but snidely informed a recent college graduate she isn’t going to change the world in her entry level job at a PR firm in the Virginia suburbs.
  • Being carded is still a hassle, but these days if it happens, I'm pretty surprised.
  • On a recent ride on the red line, I asked a boisterous flock of eleven-year old boys to simmer down, since I couldn’t hear the punk rock music on my iPod over their cacophony.
  • I had to be told both who is Zac Efron as well as the significance of the Indian with one tear.
1. I can’t shake the feeling that in spite of its earth-friendly claims, the manufacturing of the eye cream is what causes the free radicals in the first place. It’s quite the ruthless little racket they've got there.
2. Apparently, I have am attracted to a "type".
3. It’s really fucked up that they don’t tell you that the $12.95 monthly fee to monitor your credit doesn’t get you on the ins with him.

3 Comments:

Blogger Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Oh how I can relate!

L

11:16 AM  
Blogger MaybeIndecisive said...

Hey there,
I stumbled upon your blog (strangely, I was googling "dopt kit" to see if this was how the majority of people spelled it, and your Virginia Tech post appeared) and was impressed by a number of things. First of all, I like goo. (I have a Goo Theory, but it's too soon for that.) Second of all, I also am that odd age between early 30s and mid 20s: neither a bedrock of wisdom, nor the doddering ignoramus, blissful and free. I find eating sugar cereal while watching CNN is a nice way to toe the line. Also--I can now tell friends that Barack Obama paid my speeding ticket.

Anyway. Thanks for the break from my thesis. 'Twas a pleasure, Poofygoo.

1:18 PM  
Blogger The Goo said...

WHOA, I really don't think it's too soon to hear the Goo Theory. I would actually LOVE to hear the Goo Theory. Does it have anything to do with new goo, blue goo, or gooey goo for chew-chewing?

1:40 PM  

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