How I Envision the 2016 Summer Games

Although my civic fealty always belongs to Chicago, I was sad for no more than ninety seconds that my hometown lost the Olympics bid. When it comes to corruption, pointedly overlooking crime, awesomely friendly peoples, and a dirty good time, Rio is Chicago's sister city, except with fewer clothes. Although, between the pierogies and pizza, perhaps that's a quality Chicago doesn't need to emulate. Either way, I'm so excited for the 2016 Summer Games, if only to see Pele back on the field, leading Brazil to victory with a team full of penguins!

Hmmm, perhaps the Muppet Show has skewed my vision of life in Rio?

Who cares! Forget about keeping score; let's go to Rio!