One Good Reason to Work on the Hill

OK, here's the basic gist of a conversation I had with a friend who works on the House side of the Hill:

Staffer: I took a nap at lunch. Sweet.
Poofygoo: I wish I had an office to nap in!
Staffer: I don't have an office...I went to the NURSE! Ha, totally 5th grade style! You basically just go make up some excuse why you're tired (my allergies kept me up, I was up on meth all night, etc.) and they let you lay down as long as you want. Soooooooweet.

That has got to be the greatest job perk ever. I was sulking all morning, wishing I had it, until I remembered the time I faked a vague stomach ailment to get out of class. When the school nurse called my mom, she put her on speakerphone. My mom proceeded to ask when when the last time I had a b.m., opining loudly that she was pretty sure I needed to pass a b.m. I'm pretty sure she threatened to keep saying b.m. over speakerphone until I agreed to go back to class.

Ewwwww, b.m.! That's why we have euphemisms! No more nurse visits for me.