Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Everything's Coming up Poofygoo

Oh what a beautiful morning!

Sigh, I haven't been so excited to wake up since the Democratic National Convention in 2004. See, NPR wakes me up every morning. When I woke up that July morning, the first thing I heard was Bill Clinton giving a speech on the radio. It's all been a bad dream, I'd thought. Bill's here, and all is right with the world. Unfortunately, it was just a tease. I definitely wrote an angry letter to NPR telling them to kindly time their reports with my post-sleep haze a little better.

But this morning. Oh, the deliciousness of it all. Because this morning, the stories weren't teasers, and the good news just kept rolling in: Tom DeLay resigns in disgrace1. The Cubs won their home opener. Every news analyst thinks Donald Rumsfeld should resign. In the Women's Final Four, Maryland is a contender because of the success of Title IX. Adoptions at animal shelters are on the rise.

I bounced out of bed (that happens about once every three years; it's usually a long, slow, and painful process) and put on my ninja kitty shoes2. Waiting for me in the fridge was the delicious food I'd prepared for today: for breakfast, orange lentils in a Thai green curry sauce with loads of spinach and fresh basil, and for lunch, a mixed baby green salad with pears I lightly poached in a citrusy red wine reduction, toasted slivered almonds, slices of frech buffalo mozzarella, and a rosemary and a peppery citrus dressing I whipped up. I packed my bag and hugged kitty, who didn't even try to gouge my eyes out when I picked him up.

When I walked outside, everything smelled dewy and clean from last night's terrific thunderstorm. In Poofygoo, about the only weather we like better than a good thunderstorm is crisp, blustery sunshine. And oh yes, dear reader, that was the weather that greeted me this morning. When I got to the bus stop, the bus came right away. A gracious guy let me board the bus first, and there, beckoning me, was the only seat left on the bus- and in the regular part, too, not the front where you may have to give it up at any moment, and you're always in danger of getting your toes stepped on and your eyes gouged out by a standing passenger3. I sat down and did the WHOLE SuDoKu on the bus.

I arrived at work, where waiting on my desk for me, on the top of my mail, was an exclusive invitation from Canada. That's right, Canada has invited ME, not you, to do something 4. All the other people who sit around me have gone to the Executive Committee Retreat or are out sick, so I can blast Art Brut as loud as I want without having to suffer the inane questions of my non-hipster co-workers 5. And despite the gloomy and mopey clouds of blah that the Object,6 and certain other Production Editors are trying to cast on my day, the day is coming up Poofygoo. Hellz yeah.

1. Yes, it IS in disgrace. Resigning because you think you can't win because you're an indicted sleazebag is disgraceful. While he's no longer a contender in the congressional race, this maneuver makes him a prime contender for biggest douchenag of the year award.

2. By far my favorite pair of shoes, I bust them out ONLY on special occasions. They look like this:

Except that they're light blue with kitties- NOT Hello Kitty- all over them. They have a look that says, "Yes, I'll kick your ass, but I'll do it adorably.

3. Not that I don't have all the sympathy in the world for these standing passengers, who still have it the worst on the bus, being smushed up together and having to constantly be aware of moving to the back of the bus. I believe this is one way we're sheltering our children, not preparing them for the future. In the song "The Wheels on the Bus", the driver shouts for the passengers to "move on back." But you never get a sense that those are They don't really sing about the trials and tribulations of the passengers people and that one day, that could be you. It's truly sad state of antipathy, being the standing passenger on the bus.

4. I don't know exactly what I've been invited to, since I threw it away without opening it.

5. "Did they just sing that they've seen her naked twice?" "Why does modern art make him want to rock out? I don't get it."

6. To be fair, the Object did sing a funny song over chat:
If I had a hammer/
I'd bring it up on ethics charges/
And subpoena the shit out of all the other tools


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