The Goo Report
National Zoo authorities need to investigate if this is really the best environment for the Stick.
YESSSS! Six Flags! Now you don't have to go rushing through the line pretending to cry and be lost, looking for your mother! I used to have a season pass to go there. In eighth grade, my friend KK was so excited about her first trip there. She got in the car for the ride home, and our chaperone, the ultra-Catholic (Opus Dei) Mr. Antene, asked her how her day had been. She gushed, "I had the best day ever! The rides were so fun, and the people were so nice! I talked to one boy who was so nice; he told me all about how he's an orgasm donor!" Mr. Antene died a little that day. Interestingly enough, KK's innocence did not.
Why is it that some people can pull off the navy blue/black thing? Ranee Ani pulls this look off and looks like a hipster fairy princess (note to self: move to India, get engaged to Indian hottie).
OK, I really hope my Mom isn't reading this. This story of obviously guilty criminals reminds me of when, in a fit of sibling rivalry, I painted my name in white out on my mother's antique leather card table, t buy super poligrip. Not just that cheap generic shit.
Is it cheating if the helicopter is still in motion? I mean, how can you tell it actually landed on his back? Oh, and the straws.
Never fear, the scientists are on top of this whole global warming thing. With mirrors. And spacerockets. There are probably lasers involved. Which means soon we'll get the laser bikes. Like in Tron.
Thailand coup- no fatties. Only hotties.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that hot dog stand!
Exercise machine generators? Lifetime change deposit machine? Brilliant.
The downside of plastic boobs? You'll kill yourself. What a waste of money.
I'll still probablu be lazy about washing my tomatoes despite this report.
Sleep with one eye open- the fish are walking, and coming to get you next.
YESSSS! Six Flags! Now you don't have to go rushing through the line pretending to cry and be lost, looking for your mother! I used to have a season pass to go there. In eighth grade, my friend KK was so excited about her first trip there. She got in the car for the ride home, and our chaperone, the ultra-Catholic (Opus Dei) Mr. Antene, asked her how her day had been. She gushed, "I had the best day ever! The rides were so fun, and the people were so nice! I talked to one boy who was so nice; he told me all about how he's an orgasm donor!" Mr. Antene died a little that day. Interestingly enough, KK's innocence did not.
Why is it that some people can pull off the navy blue/black thing? Ranee Ani pulls this look off and looks like a hipster fairy princess (note to self: move to India, get engaged to Indian hottie).
OK, I really hope my Mom isn't reading this. This story of obviously guilty criminals reminds me of when, in a fit of sibling rivalry, I painted my name in white out on my mother's antique leather card table, t buy super poligrip. Not just that cheap generic shit.
Is it cheating if the helicopter is still in motion? I mean, how can you tell it actually landed on his back? Oh, and the straws.
Never fear, the scientists are on top of this whole global warming thing. With mirrors. And spacerockets. There are probably lasers involved. Which means soon we'll get the laser bikes. Like in Tron.
Thailand coup- no fatties. Only hotties.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that hot dog stand!
Exercise machine generators? Lifetime change deposit machine? Brilliant.
The downside of plastic boobs? You'll kill yourself. What a waste of money.
I'll still probablu be lazy about washing my tomatoes despite this report.
Sleep with one eye open- the fish are walking, and coming to get you next.
posted by The Goo at 10:13 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, I know. I don't have an good pictures of you wearing navy blue and black, but I still needed to illustrate the point of the hipster indian fairy princess.
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