Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's Gonna Be A Good Day

The first thing I heard this morning was a reporter noting that Rudy Giuliani is expected to drop out of the race today and endorse John McCain, immediately followed by a musical interlude - Dust in the Wind. Sounds like it's time to donate more money to public radio.

Anyhoo, I'd like to make a couple of points to my many, many fairly progressive friends with libertarian tendencies who think McCain or Ron Paul wouldn't be so bad for 'Merika:
  • Yes, McCain is all fancy schmancy pants moderate maverick and whatnot, but what you're not realizing is that he's gonna have to stock his cabinet with a whole bunch of party pricks to prove to the repugniclan base that he's a Real Live Republican. If he gets elected, the war is still gonna go on forEVER and all the money towards the war will go on forever, and not only will my brother be dead but then his kids won't be able to read, either. I guess what I'm really saying is that your vote for McCain is a vote to make more illiterate orphans in America. Nice going, assholes.
  • Let's not be lured by the siren song of Ron Paul, either. Having spent some time in northeastern Wisconsin, I can definitely see the appeal of libertarianism despite being the social democrat that I am - we're smart enough that we need minimal supervision to play nicely in the sandlot, so back off and let us spend our money ourselves. Here's the thing though, Ron Paul is not-so-secretly a bigoted nutcase. I'll let The New Republic do the talking.
  • Since Mitt Romney must dedicate his life as a public servant bolstering the nation's douche-in-bag reserves, the choice comes down to Hillary and Barack. This should help make that choice a little easier.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey. have you checked this for your site?


- dbh

1:10 PM  
Blogger The Goo said...

I can't tell if you're trying to make a subtle comment about the sophomoric quality of the Goo, but apparently one needs to make it through junior high to read my blog.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Chris Chan said...

Gosh, one would have to be crazy or a fool to quibble with such brilliant political rhetoric, but I'll try.

For a fresh perspective on the election, check out:

If the link doesn't work, go to Youtube and search for the "Muppets for President" commentary by notjackbauer.

Also check out the related videos attached to this site.

Hat tip: the invaluable Mark Shea of "Catholic and Enjoying It!" (

3:43 PM  

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