Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Revisionist Historian

The only way John Edwards can remain in this li'l presidential race is to invent a time machine and go back in time to last night's debate so that today's newalysis reads differently. Something more like this:

Question in the debate in Nevada between the democratic candidates
The policy differences among the remaining candidates is so slight that we appear to be choosing on the basis of personality and life story. That being said, why should I, as a progressive woman, not resent being forced to choose between the first viable female candidate and the first viable African American candidate?
Response from John Edwards:
I'm glad you asked that question. I respect and admire the two people onstage with me tonight, and their accomplishments in advancing women and minorities. Growing up in a family of mill workers, I know what it's like to be poor. You also might not know that I'm a minority too. I'm 1/32 Cherokee Indian, have a schtikle of Jewish blood, and just yesterday, I found out that I'm also 3/64 Chinaman. Also, I'm handicapped, having lost the little toe on my left foot in a tragic lawn darts accident back in '72. Good thing that atrocity of a Sunday past time is now banned!
Eh, it probably would have backfired when Obama would have then scored a point with his youth base by quipping in his rebuttal, "Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."


Blogger Matt Eckel said...

We're not talking about the guy who built the railroads here. He peed on my rug!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

hmmm.... but surely it is ok as he is a 'chinaman' or asian/american...or whatever...

or does he have to be 2/3rds or something - is there a statute of limitations on how 'irish' you have to be to be irish (say) - there should be - I am more Irish than most 'irish americans' and most irish people would get offended if i said i was irish...

4:31 PM  
Blogger The Goo said...

John Edwards would say you can be as much Irish as it takes to win the race. Or get the most potatoes.

9:23 PM  

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