Monday, January 09, 2006

Almost every day after work, I go for a run. It's the perfect way to end the productive part of my day. I love my job and feel really satisfied when I get a lot done, and the best complement to a mentally taxing day is to take my body to its limits. I have the privilege of working right near the National Mall. For those of you non-DCists, The Mall is the gravelled stretch of two miles between the Lincoln Memorial that showcases the Smithsonian museums, The Washington Monument, The WWII Memorial and lovely expanses of green to play frisbee and picnic on. I don't generally wear my patriotism on my sleeve, but a run across the Mall gives me a sense of identity as an American. I take great pleasure in my quotidian jog, having the space to let my mind wander, listening to music as loud as I want to and demanding nothing more of myself than to put one foot in front of the other.

The Gethsemane of my run is the mile or so running from 19th Street, where my office building is, to The Mall. The streets are crowded with suburbanites in their oversized cars- one per car- talking on their cell phones and generally not paying attention to the fact that they're surrounded my other people and this crazy "society" thing.

I'm at the end of my pedestrian rope about DC drivers. Tonight, I kid you not, I got smacked by an SUV. A really big one- the Escalade.

Into the side of a bus.


This truck had come out of the parking garage, and was taking up the entire sidewalk and about half of the driveway- but the driver had stopped. Since a steady stream of traffic was cruising past her and there was nowhere for her to go, I figured it was ok to go around her. Then she inched up, right into me, knocking me into a city bus., effectively sandwiching me in between the two. Then, I ricocheted between the two for a bit.

A fellow pedestrian saw the whole thing, made sure I was ok (I was, and still am) and then started to ream out this woman. She refused to take any responsibility, so I joined in. In fact, the biggest injury I sustained from this whole ridiculous ordeal was that I stubbed my toe kicking a great big dent in the side of her car. In retrospect, I probably should have called the police and gotten her a ticket or something, but I really just wanted to be running. It can't be cheap to fix a dent on a car that expensive.

By the way, I know you're all wondering, yes, she was talking on her cell phone.

I looked up some stats:
Weight of a City Bus (without passengers): 38,500 lbs
Weight of a Cadillac Escalade: 6800 lbs

Needless to say, I'm in neither of those weight ranges. So the fact that I survived intact is impressive, in my humble opinion. This means I am living proof of Darwinism. Which means that woman had better watch out, because some day I will see her, when she doesn't have her SUV and cell phone to hide behind. Muahahaha.


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