Devolution

Oh pretty flowers, you make me sick. Literally.

I used to mock Fraternal Unit K for having allergies. "It's a sign you're poorly evolved," I would smugly declare.

It turns out it's more a sign of ridiculously high pollen count. Which we have here in DC, because everyone thinks flowers are sooooooo pretty. I admit it, I was once one of those people.

But as of this morning, I am no fan of flowers. Because for the first time in my life, I have hay fever, the lamest illness ever: a failure of your body to adapt to its surroundings. My eyes are watering, I sneeze constantly, even though there's nothing to expel, and my sinuses feel like they have water balloons inside of them.

I know what this is. Karmic retribution for all those years I spent mocking those with allergies.

I'm going to go try and pluck my eyeballs out.