17:1. Then all the multitude of the children of America setting forward from the desert of Sin, by their McMansions, according to the word of the Lord, encamped in the freeways, where there was no gas for the people to drive with.
17:2. And they chode with Obama, and said: Give us gas, that we may drive! And Obama answered them: Why chide you with me? Wherefore do you tempt the Lord?
17:3. So the people were thirsty there for want of gas, and murmured against Obama, saying: Why didst thou run for president, to inconvenience us and our children, and our way of life with fucking wind energy? Don't you know that kills a few birds?
17:4. And Obama cried to the Lord, saying: What shall I do to this people? Yet a little more and they will stone me.
17:5. And the Lord said to Obama: Go before the people, and take with thee of the ancients of Illinois coal lobbies: and take in thy hand the polls wherewith thou didst strike the river, and go.
17:6. Behold I will stand there before thee, upon the coal Horeb, and thou shalt strike the coal, and liquefied gas shall come out of it that the people may drive. Obama did so before the ancients of Illinois coal lobbies.
And the ancients were much pleased. The Lord, too.
But alas, not anymore, for Barack has renounced his ways, according to Grist: "Illinois senator and presidential hopeful Barack Obama (D) has qualified his support for coal -- which is, you may recall, the enemy of the human race." The L.A. Times adds, "With his statement Tuesday, Obama seemed to be making his choice clear: pledging to oppose any plan to turn coal into liquid fuel unless it adhered to strict environmental safeguards."
It's good to know that environmental policy isn't going to force us to rely on the same foundation faith-based science the Creation Museum is founded on.
And the greens were much pleased.
1.Is anyone else out there secretly a little relieved that we don't have to vote for Dennis Kucinich again?