It's Almost Like the Goo Report is Back

So the last several Fridays have been dedicated to getting to the beach and/or climbing, hence the slacking on the Goo Report. But here it is, back in all its weird, fucked up glory.

Via DCist: I wonder if police could tell they were fake sleeping because they started smiling and muffling giggles?

Also, while we're on the subject of random thoughts, I want this job. A lot. My roommate's cat peed on the Patagonia catalogue yesterday, though; I think she's trying to tell me she'll miss me. Either that or she really hates quality technical wear.

Five-year old's passport rejected for being too slutty.

I'll bet this guy plays sugar cookie at the beach, too.

What do you do when get stoned and lose your pants? Crime spree!

And you thought Madison and Skylar were bad...

The Scourge, since he apparently no longer blogs himself, wanted Goo readers to be aware of the following: Poor puppy! I would not post this if they didn't save the mouse. Rats are ok to kill, cuz they're not cute.

Yay! Go Cubs! At least we're leading something!

One last thing, and this isn't so much news as it is random, but I like to pose the rhetorical question to the readers: fine, we all know about the b.s. no white after labor day rule, but do we have to go directly to turtlenecks? Shouldn't there be some interim stage? Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those turtleneck haters; I find them a comfy and warm alternative to a polo in winter, but seriously, it's 83 degrees here in DC. Before busting out the woolies, I propose a mandatory waiting period of three consecutive days below 65 degrees.