Goo-Ganda

Dear Internet,

I missed you SO MUCH! I can't even think of the last time I didn't see you for five days. Last time I was in Africa?

So, here I am at my dispatch in Uganda. I have so much to tell you! First off, sadly, the equator is NOT marked by a giant red and white dashed line, so you can't actually see it from the plane. Sad, no? The reall equator is marked by two small circles and a toilet you have to pay 200 shillings to get into. The lock on the stall door was on the outside of the stall, and the door was springloaded, and so did not close without the lock, meaning you take your wee in front of everyone (hovering in a squat, since toilet seats are few and far between) or else you hold the door for someone else while you do the omigodihavetotinkleohgodwe'vebeendrivingforsolongi'mgonnadie before you can get a turn with a closed door. That said, body mass is 3% less at the equator, so it feels like you're floating over the seat (NOT TRUE).

Happily, the mall has sculptures of dinosaurs in the parking lot, so I know I must be among friends.

It's 8:30 in the morning here, which means it's 12:45 last night for you guys. Also, this page took six minutes to load (not exaggerating), has had to refresh twice, and I've sucked up the rest of the minutes I paid for in this internet cafe trying to figure out what the hell I'm typing, since the keys that I press on the keyboard are not the characters that appear on the screen. It's fun; it's like a guessing game! But my time has come, so it's off to work... I"ll write more when I can.

Love,

The Goo

P.S. Had a perfunctory update of the news going on of late- roofies in the Chinese toys now? What, was lead paint too boring? I don't even want to know why peoples would want to give the kiddies the date rape drug.