Christmassacre

You know, I used to really enjoy the war on Christmas, but lately it's become so commercial.

Luckily, there are some people out there trying to are the holiday back down to its original roots, namely, making Christmas as ridiculous as possible.

Consider Traveldlodge, the motel that is offering a free night's stay to any couple named Mary and Joseph. While one must bring proof of identity and demonstrate that one in a long-term relationship, one does not need to submit proof of divine insemination- a classy touch from a classy motel.

"The 'gift' of a free night's stay is to make up for the hotel industry not having any rooms left on Christmas Eve over 2000 years ago when the original 'Mary and Joseph' had to settle for the night in a stable."

Finally, reparations. Granted, a room at the Travelodge is a little like giving your receptionist the bulky five-pound "travel" SuDoKu that found its way into your lootstash last year, but blessed are the meek or regifters or some shit like that.

Then there's the obscene letters from Santa:

"Canada's post office and police are trying to track down a "rogue elf" who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday."

Rogue elf my ass. This is years of repression finally burbling to the surface. Remember that whole controversy when Santa asked the kids to leave their shoes out, and in the dead of night, he'd come along and do whoknowzwhat with thembut leave candy as a reward? A little pervy, no? So then he had that whole PR makeover with the going down the chimneys and whatnot, but we all knew we hadn't heard the last of the skeeve. Santa's what, like 600 hundred years old? He's starting to get a little senile; the perv is creeping back out, not unlike Gramps at the nursing home after a drink or two... who even knows what's next?