Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Live Blogging The Yindie Off

Thursday Morning: Like El Guapo, I too must learn the lesson: no esta bien de bebir y blogir. My liveblog account of the Decemberist on Colbert follows. I had grand intentions of editing this to make it briliant, but I have a deadline to meet. So here ya go:

11:31 p.m. Morley Saphir, ohhhhhhhh air o' legitimacy!

11:32: The Goo officially endorses the The Decemberist. But I would have much rather seen a green screen challenge ofThe Island.

11:33: "The second of the Lincoln Douglas debates starts with Douglass asking for a joint session." True story: when I was taking Civil War History in college, I read that line out loud in class and snickered, "hahaha, joint session." KLASSY.

11:34: Where's the rest of the band? Jenny Conlee? AUGH! That's ok, Chris Funk is no mere consolation prize. I wish he had the giant whale with him. I would love to see him take on Colbert inside a whale.

11:36 My witness will attest that I called coriander as rhyming with salamander before Stephen. Philander would also have worked.

11:38: Apples in Stereo : better in mono. Or not at all. Te Object is using this to distract me into losing this hand of gin. Overall, he is winning, 76-3. The student has become the master. Sorry, Gabe, The Object will have to outline the story for you, since I'm not telling. It makes me look like a total ass. And I'm not dumb; it TOTALLY was trickery.

11:40 SHREDOWN. Chris Funk!!!!! Oooh, maybe he has a hurdy gurdy! Where's the whale?!?!?

11:41- Wow, Anthony DeCurtis, very cleverly alliterative.

Tim Anderson: whizaWAIT A MINUTE!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Elliot Spitzer TOTALLY gets my vote. In, um, 2010. And only if he votes foBUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He said "Bring In THE noise. Sorry, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Sick of noting time. That means it time for bullet mode!

  • Chris Funk, what is that peice of art in your hands?
  • All I want in life is Henry Kissinger as my ringtone saying, "Stephen, it is time to rock." In case any of you are wondering what to get me for Christmas...
  • Ohhhh, nice fingering, Chris Funk! The Object says, "um, not very coherent."
  • FOUR NECKED GUITAIR!!!!! Object just wet himself.
  • Henry Kissinger: "Stephen, Crank it up." Heh. Kinda makes me forget about all the crimes against humanity.
  • Um, not to sound like John Cusack, but is that Peter Fucking Frampton?
  • The Object would like you to know that the Led Zeppelin song in the Armani perfume commercial is "When the levy breaks." I would rather have you know that I think that Dunkin' Donuts commercial where they say, "Fritalian" is funny.
  • Object wants to know who gets a six pack of beer for a Christmas pressie. Fuck. I hope I saved the receipt.
  • 11:55- OOOOOOH! Show's back!
  • Who's riding whose coattails now?

  • AUGH! Hyperliterate! Drives me crazy! Bad adjective! UGH! You either can read or you can't! LITERARY!
  • Ohhhh, I hope my office gets a gift basket of $20 bills, cuz the executive diretor is gone and I'll reap the bounty. I already got a smoked salmon.
  • The American people won? Fuck that, the yindies won. BEST PRIZE EVER! Especially sioce that stupid rigged DCist contest. Seriously, I was ROBBED. I want Carson Ellis art more than anyone in this town; I guarantee you.
  • Wait, I'm sorry, they could get Rick Nelson, and Peter Fucking Frampton, and Henry Kissinger, but not the rest of the Decemberists? What gives?

I have had a LOT of vodka, but I feel we can legitimately call Chris Funk the winner. He could back that up with a whale, but he doesn't even need to.


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