Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Goo Report: No More Spraypainted Black Tulips

Well Hello There, Bloggy Peoples!

I missed you, too! I'm back from the three-day bacchanal in the land of sherbet-colored clothes with little creatures embroidered on them. Why yes, I am talking about the Foxfield races. Did you know that there is a color called Nantucket Red, which gives boys an excuse to wear pink? I laughed, too.

This may be the best morning ever. All the beautiful things that heaven bears are raining down around us and making the world a wonderful place to live today. What? You need proof? That can only mean that it's Goo Report time!

  • So, when you're an artist, how can you tell you've made it? Why, when someone gets a tattoo of your work! This is by far the coolest thing that's happened to any of my friends ever.
  • Hey, what's better than a revolving restaurant? REVOLVING SKYSCRAPER.
  • The Pipettes are FINALLY coming to DC. Does anyone want to dress up in polka dots and wear tortoise framed glasses and come up with synchronized dances with me? We could be the Pipettettes! Hmmmm, we may need to have a Goo Contest. I asked the Object if he would be The Cassettes, and he said something quite tawdry about being the Pipe in my Pipette.
  • China, you win this round in the battle for cultural supremacy. But we still have the Stick.
  • I can has syntaxsis? Turns out there are rules to those LOL cats being so funny.
  • Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch. For reals. He got his title after conquering the crunchberries and creating a colony, over which he ruled for several decades and eventually, in the specious name of democracy, left it when its resources were depleted so that a civil war broke out between the warring factions of the crunchberries and the peanut butter nuggets.
  • Oh, it's my birthday! Today, Staff Appreciation Week at my office- wherein staff has been massaged, given money, had stress-reducing yoga workshops, an afternoon at the movies, and a scavenger hunt at the Air & Space Museum- will culminate in a luncheon at Nora. With wine pairings. And we don't have to work afterwards! This may be the best birthday since the first one I can remember. When I was about four or so, my parents called me in from playing outside, and had fixed all my favorite foods. My brothers weren't allowed to beat me up all night, and my place at the dinner table had balloons and streamers all over it. After dinner and turtle pie ice cream cake, I got the My Little Pony Dream Castle AND Transformers to storm the MY Little Pony Dream Castle. I had no idea what was going on; my family had to explain the whole birthday concept to me. Birthdays have pretty much been getting better ever since, and it doesn't hurt that this time of year is when all the flowers are in bloom and everyone is thrilled to be alive. Oh, and it's international workers day! To celebrate, I'll be on the porch of Cheif Ike's tonight, sipping margaritas, you're all welcome to join!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have any “interesting” Foxfield stories, come tell everyone at cVillain.

4:35 PM  
Blogger rock_ninja said...

Oh, good lord, do I EVER have great Foxfield stories. Including the stench from the bowels of hell, and also tattered shreds of very expensive underwears.

4:38 PM  

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