Best to Be Prepared

ABUJA (Reuters) - The price of machetes has halved in parts of Nigeria since the end of general elections in April because demand from thugs sponsored by politicians has subsided, the state-owned News Agency of Nigeria reported.

What kind of political strife would make machetes a routine part of the elections process? Fraud, corruption, egregious disregard from politicians towards their constituents- maybe... a little something like THIS?!?!?!?!!?

The hypocrisy is unpardonable. President Bush's decision to commute the sentence of a convicted liar brought out the worst in both parties and politics.

In keeping I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby out of jail, Bush defied his promise to hold wrongdoers accountable and undercut his 2000 campaign pledge to "restore honor and dignity" to the White House.

Happy Fucking Birthday, America!

Well, onto that which matters: the blowing up of stuff in the name of patriotism. As you may know, we here at the Goo are huge proponents of the Fourth of July. How many days do you get to see sparkly explosions while drinking black cows? And so, as is my patriotic duty, I bring you: exploding rocketships. Enjoy.