Thursday, October 04, 2007

Mathematical Proof of Mathematical Bogus

Google is acting quite feisty.

First, it started acting up after I got an email from my friend and yours, Howard Dean, M.D. I forwarded it on to the Object, and the following conversation ensued:

The Goo: Why only use the MD to tug on heartstrings? I mean, yeah, wooooooot, healthcare, I'm a doctor; I know what I'm saying, smickety smackety, blah blah blah, but c'mon, seriously?
The Object: It's obnoxious. For a while he wanted to be called Chairman Governor Dean, M.D. More like Chairman Governor Dickwad, M.D.
The Goo: How about Professor Doctor Chairman Governor Dickwad, M.D., AssHOle?

Then I noticed my little Google spying Big Brother sidebar had changed its ads dramatically from the norm it gives me- in three little Deanbashing emails (one gmail conversation), I went from "Fruit and Veggie Recipes", "Official Kashi Site", and "Rock Climbing Joshua Tree" advertisements to links wondering if I wanted a bumper sticker that says NObama, to visit, and to start reading Ann Coulter. Lesson learned: if you don't like Howard Dean, you're whiling away your hours fantasizing about a threesome with Karl Rove and Larry Craig.

It got weirder when I started looking for more information on medical symptoms. I started to type in "numbness in legs". I got as far as the B in numb when a suggested search term appeared:

number of horns on a unicorn acre = 7.7675003 × 1024 US teaspoons per light year

Apparently, it's a measurement. Of unicorns. And teaspoons of light. So next time someone tells me math is legit, I will ask if we can now measure volume in terms of fairy dust and leprechaun tears.


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