The Goo Report: Jetlag Edition

Dammit, dammit, dammit. I got back from India yesterday and am rocking some epic jetlag. I woke up at 3 this morning, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. The worst part is that because I'm 10.5 hours ahead, there's a period in the midafternoon to evening where I would be sleeping and I drag. But once I'm over that hump, I'm wide awake again. I'm pretty sure I just rolled over that hump again and am wide awake. I don't understand how jetlag is so much less manageable than insomnia.

So I give you the fruits of the only thing I have the mental capacity to deal with at the moment: random shit on the internet.

• Just in case you weren't psyched about Cancun and those climate talks that are still dragging on.
• 1969-1980 Turkish psych-folk singles: In case the album artwork weren't awesome enough, there's the music. That reminds me of a picture I need to post that features a muschtachioed sun god. India definitely had its moments.
• Hilariously painful animal attacks. Honestly, it's the sound effects that swayed me.
• Sometimes I run out of underwear and am too lazy to do the laundry, so I go buy some more. Lazy, no? But this is taking things just a little too far.

Can You Crack the Code?

Cheesus H. Christ...

...is this ever fucked up.

Perhaps a Sign of a Higher Porpoise?

I've always been fairly certain that Dick van Dyke is constantly surrounded by bands of cartoon-like animals that surreptitiously guard him from danger.

Now I know I'm right: porpoises rescued Dick van Dyke from drowning after he fell asleep on his surfboard. "Mary Poppins star feared death after apparently falling asleep on his surfboard but friendly sea creatures pushed him to shore."

Just desserts for a porpoise driven life, no?