Friday, January 30, 2009

Hint: It Rhymes with Schmermany)

So Blagojevich is out. Siiiiiigh. There goes all our fun.

Somehow, this won't be the last we hear from him. Call it a feeling, but I'm pretty sure there's a huge market out there for the nonsensical ramblings of mopheaded egomaniac...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Also, A Certain Lott Was Driven Out

DC had its first "snow" of the year, an event involving less than an inch of snow on the ground. Naturally, the city shut down. The midwesterners of our fair city were finally vindicated when the new POTUS interrupted a briefing this morning to comment:
"As my children pointed out, in Chicago, school is never canceled," Obama said to laughter. "In fact, my 7-year-old pointed out that you'd go outside for recess. You wouldn't even stay indoors. So, I don't know. We're going to have to try to apply some flinty Chicago toughness."
Flinty toughness? You'd think that wouldn't be necessary in a city that's built almost entirely out of marble. But to those who think DC is a Sodom and/or Gomorrah, our icy roads should evidence a serious lack of salt pillars, much less fire and brimstone reigning down.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

So Much Better Than Ikea

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Afterglow

Local artist Emily Troutman asked DC denizens to choose words describing how they felt about the dawn of the new era.

"No one picked the word Angry or Scared, despite my best efforts. Even Rubin Israel, the man holding the sign 'Homo Sex is Sin' would only go so far as 'Skeptical...Though "Obama" doesn't necessarily seem like a feeling, Al Hillman, of Al's Barbershop on H Street NE, put it best when he said, 'You know, I just feel Obama, don't you feel Obama?'

A fun game to play with friends is always "One of these things is not like the other." See how you do:

The Aftermath

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Baracchanal

Here in our nation's capital, we're enjoying four days of unbridled patriotic fervor, optimism, vindication, volunteerism, and drinking. They even wrangled a delightful burlesque and Coney Island sideshow into the festivities. At the end of it, we get Barack Obama as our president.
Best. Holiday. Ever.
It may mark the first time in our nation's history when Washingtonians dampened their open hostility toward tourists and even let themselves become part of the fray, taking on an attitude of "we're all in this together" (Well, kind of. The Post translates well. Still, it's a gesture). We're not even that fussed about the cold (maybe that's just me, though).

There's an electric feeling in the city, a consensus that democracy has prevailed on our side without us having to settle. At the same time, I'm surprised at how realistic people are about Obama, acknowledging that he has an incredibly difficult four years ahead of him and that . Here in Adams Morgan a public message board was transformed from its last incarnation as a Festivus Pole for the airing of grievances (I'm not the only one who hates the CVS truck!) . Now we can send a personal message to Obama, as well as post times and locations for elephant pinata-bashing gatherings. A smattering of what Adams Morganians would like to tell Barack, faithfully transcribed:
  • Open trade with Cuba
  • You know for damned sure only Bush would pick a "labradoodle." Don't "misunderestimate" the importance of the presidential dog!
  • We need economic help
  • I don't pray to ya
  • Working holiday visa program with Australia
  • We need a good economy--legalize it!
  • NO more lies
  • More transparency
  • trail Bush and Chaney for war crimes against humanity
  • I trust your judgement
  • don't lower your standards
  • Reopen up Pennsylvania Avenue for all
  • Minimum wage at $12.00/hour
  • Legalize pot! It's awesome!
  • Make weed legal
  • Free candy
  • More insurance
  • Status as a victim
  • Peace in the Middle East
  • End the killing in Gaza
  • Support the sovereignty of Israel
  • US out of Iraq and Amsterdam
  • Always remember that people are the same all over the world. We all have the same hopes and dreams.
  • Your not superman but in the government your close
  • End the cold war
  • Amnisty please I ♥ Obama!
  • We need pat for imigrant legalicition no discriminition.
  • DC Statehood now
  • Advice: stick with your gut (mine's getting bigger)
Of course, not everyone brims with the same faith that my neighbors and me are about the incoming president. The Post reports on four men protesting the new Administration and its alleged cohorts yesterday:

He held a sign that simply listed the guilty. "Baby Killing Women, Porno Freaks, Sport Nuts, Drunks, Homos, Jesus Mockers, Mormons."

"Wait a minute," a young guy in the crowd said to his buddies. "Sports nuts?"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

So Here's A Question

Thursday, January 08, 2009

These Are Troubled Times

Not long before Christmas, the Object and his bike had a tussle with a car. The Object is fine; he came away with a broken and sprained wrist (talented, no?), a separated shoulder, and a smooshed noggin. Lesson to all the kids out there: wear your helmet, because no one at the DC ER cares about your head on a Saturday night, and your capable and adorable girlfriend can't do a damn thing stuck in San Francisco with internet that doesn't recognize google as valid.

Happily, he's ok. Still, I cant' help but worry that the knock on the head left him a little daft. A smattering of things I have found myself saying to him over the past few weeks:
  • Was that Fox News calling you for an interview?
  • Why are you being so nice to the cat? You're going to confuse him!
  • Did you just whisper sweet nothings to your coffee?
  • Are you sure you're eating enough?
  • I know I made dinner, but why don't you go play Wii while I do the dishes?
  • You can't just waltz in the door five hours after I expec--gasp do I smell burritos on your breath?!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I'm Starting to Get Burnt Out on These...

The Goo
Prospective Student for Graduate Program in International Smickety Smack
Essay choice number 1: "In 600 words or less, please describe an issue of national or international importance and its concern to you."

Cheese is of national importance. Furthermore, cheese is also of international importance. Moreover, cheese is of global importance, but not in the international sense. Most importantly, cheese is of importance to me; my interest in cheese spans veritable United Nations of dairy products, in particular goat cheese, manchego, and Irish cheddar. Please let me into your school. Also, I voted for Barack Obama. I understand international peoples like him. Did you know he is currently making history? Twice. Two times I voted for the man. I was born in Chicago. It's how we roll. In fact, if you grant me admission to your fine institution, I will give a seat in the United States Senate. Thank you for your kind consideration.