My Panties Are in a Twist
9 Aug 06- UPDATE: on the topic of underoos I would like, pretty much everything from pants. OK, no more about my secret sartorial desires for a bit.
Around 11 a.m., I'm sipping my BURNT iced coffee from au bon pain. Bastards. I hate them for being my only local iced coffee option. And for charging me more for a 2 oz cup of crappity cream cheese than they do for the goddamn bagel it goes on. And yet I keep going there. Poofytool.
Anyhoo, I'm wriggling around in my chair. Something doesn't feel quite right. Itchy. Out of place.
I go to the bathroom and notice that I have put on my underoos not only inside out, but also backwards. Ouchy.
I would like to take this opportunity to state for the record that I am uncomfortable with the term "panties". This is mostly due to the fact that in college, Kyle Simpson would get really stoned and start waxing philosophical about the humor in the phrase "crusty Rainbow Brite panties", which is creepy and gross.
My "panties" aversion may also come from the fact that my mom used to iron my ruffle-butt panties when I was a wee little girl. All I really wanted were some cool underoos-the ones with Snoopy on them- but my mom was adamant about my having the ruffliest little girly panties that existed. I can't begrudge ger that right after suffering through the skid marks of my five older brothers.
Still, I'm going to agree with Calvin on this one, "I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals."
Around 11 a.m., I'm sipping my BURNT iced coffee from au bon pain. Bastards. I hate them for being my only local iced coffee option. And for charging me more for a 2 oz cup of crappity cream cheese than they do for the goddamn bagel it goes on. And yet I keep going there. Poofytool.
Anyhoo, I'm wriggling around in my chair. Something doesn't feel quite right. Itchy. Out of place.
I go to the bathroom and notice that I have put on my underoos not only inside out, but also backwards. Ouchy.
I would like to take this opportunity to state for the record that I am uncomfortable with the term "panties". This is mostly due to the fact that in college, Kyle Simpson would get really stoned and start waxing philosophical about the humor in the phrase "crusty Rainbow Brite panties", which is creepy and gross.
My "panties" aversion may also come from the fact that my mom used to iron my ruffle-butt panties when I was a wee little girl. All I really wanted were some cool underoos-the ones with Snoopy on them- but my mom was adamant about my having the ruffliest little girly panties that existed. I can't begrudge ger that right after suffering through the skid marks of my five older brothers.
Still, I'm going to agree with Calvin on this one, "I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals."
posted by The Goo at 11:23 AM
2 Comments:
Mikl uses the term panties like it going out of fashion - wait, it IS out of fashion. He also likes to say breasts rather than boobs or such. Perhaps we should move to England?
Any woman who refuses to use the term "panties" is either a dyke or at least bi-curious. I can't really fathom the dynamic behind this, but I have found it to be true time and time again. Sexy, hetero little hotties love to talk about their panties!
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